If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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