porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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