I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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