We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize