So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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