He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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