The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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