I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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