If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize