hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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