It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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