im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize