We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This house was built for laser tag.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize