I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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