end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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