That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize