Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize