just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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