I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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