It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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