I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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