Got a toothbrush?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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