omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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