that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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