my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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