Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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