Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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