Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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