bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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