the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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