I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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