it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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