I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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