is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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