Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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