well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
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