3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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