I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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