I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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