Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize