had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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