No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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