Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think my moral compass just broke
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