Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize