My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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