i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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