and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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