I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize