he told me I talked like a deaf person
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize