so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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